Do You Need To Stick To Wedding Traditions?

“It’s your wedding”. You may have heard this more than a couple times during your travels, but sometimes that runs counter to pressures from family members and friends to stick to traditional wedding practices. From first looks to the adage “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”, there is a lot of interesting and sometimes strange history with these traditions. Let’s peel back the layers of some of these and see if they are worthy of incorporating in your wedding.

Marrying At A House Of Worship

I’d say that about 10% of the couples I’ve worked with marry at a house of worship. While some couples would like to stick to their religious roots others opt for a religious officiant to marry them at the site of their reception. Be sure to add appropriate time for your guests to travel if you are getting married off-site.

Choosing A Side At The Ceremony

Having one side of the family and friends sit in one designated area is becoming less and less frequent. Co-mingling of guests is not only becoming more frequent to see, it also encourages your guests to learn more about people they may be meeting for the first time.

The First Look

I’ve seen a mix of first looks happening in more private moments for strictly the photographer & videographer to capture, while some couples wait for their soon-to-be-spouse to walk down the aisle. For this tradition it really comes down to the personality of the couple and where they want to have truly special moments captured.

The Receiving Line

This point of thanking guests for attending has all but disappeared at the weddings I’ve attended. It tends to be very time consuming and usually the time is shifted over to photography & videography needs or sometimes the couple will escape off to a quiet spot for a little reprieve. If you do work this in your wedding, ensure enough time in your timeline to accommodate it.

The Big Wedding Party Introduction

Thought to be a US-devised tradition, there is no right or wrong when it comes to who will be introduced at your grand introductions. Sometimes we include the wedding party, parents, grandparents, ring/flower bearer, and even ushers. Other times it’s just the couple. It really comes down to the level of pomp and circumstance that the couple desires to have. If I look back at my hundreds of weddings I’d wager that >70% of my weddings are just announcing the couples.

Champagne Toasts

I think I’ve seen more toasters forget that they have a champagne flute in front of them as they run down all the thoughts they had as they speak about the couple. And because of this I think that the need for champagne toasts have gone down considerably. If you do desire the champagne toast make sure timing wise that it’s served relatively quickly from pouring so it does not get too warm or begin to get flat.

The Garter Toss

Now this is something that has fallen out of favor for some years now, and frankly I understand why. It’s a bit of a weird bit of focus at a wedding, but it’s thought-of origins are even more strange. In medieval Europe, a bride’s wedding attire was believed to possess protective and lucky qualities. It was considered good luck to obtain a piece of the bride’s dress, potentially even a bit of her garter. So LITERALLY they would rip off pieces of the bride’s dress. Just, just no. Let’s not do that. And while it’s now a bit more whimsical, most brides forgo this tradition.

The Bouquet Toss

This tradition was literally the counter to the garter toss as the distractor of having their clothing ripped apart by their guests. I have to say this is becoming less and less popular, sometimes opting to hand over a bouquet as a gift to someone special at the wedding to skipping any ceremonial transactions of the handing over of flowers.

Cake Cutting

This is another tradition of weird origins. Originally a symbol of the bride’s fertility and commitment to providing for her husband, it began its transformation in the Victorian Era and reached its peak in the late 20th century. And while cake cutting is still a thing that happens in the majority of weddings there are couples that would rather give less attention to the tradition, opting to do it “on the side” and “strictly for the photos”. It does serve as a little bit of a hiccup in a dance segment which is why more and more couples are opting for a private cake cutting.

Music Traditions

When I first started DJing it was very common to have a “classical ceremony”, a “jazzy cocktail”, and a “soft dinner”. While some people may put a new spin on this and have more modern classical cover songs from groups like Vitamin String Quartet and maybe some coffee house covers during cocktail or dinner, it’s also not uncommon to explore any and all genres. From metal, to hip-hop, to funk, to prog-rock, to emo; there really isn’t a wrong time to play many songs during a wedding (with some exceptions).

Make It Your Own

Over the years I have had couples sometimes strip all the traditions out from their wedding, some incorporate new traditions that they thought of, or work older traditions in new and fun ways. In the end there is no right or wrong as long as you are doing this as you desire, and to put a stamp of your personality at your wedding.